Deepwater Horizon: A Disaster Built One Mistake at a Time
As slow burn as you can possibly get. I think I started writing this around the 46-minute mark and basically nothing had happened yet, and somehow that is exactly why it works. Because you know this oil rig is going to explode. You are just sitting there waiting for the universe to cash the check.…
Marvel Cosmic Invasion Is Exactly What Marvel Games Need
Dear videogame companies: more of this, please. Seriously. This works very, very well. I grew up with a Sega. Maximum Carnage and Captain America and the Avengers were my jam back then, and Marvel Cosmic Invasion feels like somebody remembered that superhero games are allowed to just be fun. They don’t all need to cost…
Arcadian: The Ultimate Father Son Survival Movie
Sometimes the best apocalypse movies are not the ones trying to explain every little detail. Not every monster needs a ten minute speech. Not every world-ending event needs a scientist pointing at a screen while dramatic music plays. Sometimes it is enough to throw you into a broken world, hand you a father, his two…
Roofman: The Ultimate Swerve
The big problem with Roofman is that the movie really wants to portray Jeffrey as a great guy. And yes, he does a few “nice” things here and there. At one point he gives a coat to someone he has just locked in a freezer while robbing a McDonald’s. Which is kind of like punching…
Madame Web Had ZERO Post-Credits & ZERO Connections — What the Hell Was Sony Thinking?
Look, it was obvious from the jump that Madame Web was going to bomb at the box office. But the real question that’s been eating at me is: what did Sony actually think was going to happen with this movie? Zero post-credit scenes. Zero connections to anything else in the Spider-Man universe. They just dropped…
Apple’s $250 Million Pit Stop: The F1 Movie That Forgot the Finish Line
When a studio sets out to make a movie, the logic should be simple: spend modestly, earn big. But Apple’s latest cinematic detour with F1—a racing drama starring Brad Pitt—is a reminder that Hollywood still hasn’t mastered that math. F1 has now become the highest-grossing original film of the year… with a box office haul…
Netflix’s Assassin’s Creed: A Stealth Game Franchise That Can’t Escape Its Own Mistakes
Netflix is officially moving forward with a live-action Assassin’s Creed series—and somehow, they’ve learned absolutely nothing. Remember the 2016 movie with Michael Fassbender? No? Exactly. Instead of delivering the assassin-centered story fans craved, we got a convoluted mess obsessed with the Animus and the “Apple of Eden.” That same misguided philosophy is likely creeping into…
Jake Paul in Creed 4? Please No.
Hollywood has a bad habit of chasing trends without understanding what actually makes something work. Case in point: the swirling rumor that Jake Paul might appear in Creed 4. Whether he’ll show up as a villain, a cameo, or a full-on opponent for Adonis Creed hasn’t been confirmed—but even as a whisper, it’s a bad…
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World War Joe 