Category Archives: Uncategorized

Roofman: The Ultimate Swerve

The big problem with Roofman is that the movie really wants to portray Jeffrey as a great guy. And yes, he does a few “nice” things here and there. At one point he gives a coat to someone he has just locked in a freezer while robbing a McDonald’s. Which is kind of like punching someone in the face and then handing them an ice pack like you deserve credit for bedside manner. But ultimately, Jeffrey is still a thief.

Roofman is based on the real-life story of Jeffrey Manchester, a divorced U.S. Army veteran in North Carolina who is struggling to provide for his three young children. Mostly broke and desperate, Jeffrey has a genius idea. He’s going to apply for a job, work his way up the corporate ladder, and finally provide for his kids and his ex-wife…..nah, I’m just kidding with you. He decides he’s going to start robbing businesses.

One of his old airborne buddies reminds him that he has a real gift for observation, and calls him the smartest and dumbest man he knows. That pretty much sums Jeffrey up for the entire movie. He starts breaking into stores through the roof at night, which gets him dubbed “The Roofman” by local law enforcement. He pulls this off around 40 times before the police finally catch him, and he ends up sentenced to 45 years in prison.

Now at this point, you’d think Jeffrey would realize he has done wrong, not just to his community but to himself, and maybe decide to turn his life around. Maybe devote himself to Christ. Maybe become a changed man and a source of hope to the people around him…nah, I’m just kidding with you. Jeffrey hatches another plan and escapes prison by hiding underneath a truck.

From there, the movie somehow gets even more ridiculous. Jeffrey sneaks into a Toys R Us as it’s closing, climbs up into the ceiling tiles, and decides this giant toy store is now going to be his new secret home base. He builds a little fort out of merchandise, rigs up cameras to spy on the store, and basically turns the place into his own weird hideout while he waits on fake IDs that will supposedly help him flee to South America.

And for a minute, the movie almost tricks you into thinking maybe this is where Jeffrey is going to show some actual humanity. He overhears a manager named Leigh talking about a church toy drive, and when her boss refuses to help, you think maybe Jeffrey will go out and use some of his saved money to do something kind. Maybe buy some toys for the kids. Maybe prove there’s a decent man somewhere under all this foolishness…..nah, of course not. He steals the toys from Toys R Us and donates them himself. 

So now he’s getting praised for generosity while literally giving away stolen merchandise. And somehow this works, because this is where he starts getting close to Leigh and her daughters. He slowly builds a relationship with them, gets welcomed into their lives, and keeps bonding with them while fully knowing that the whole thing is built on lies and that he is eventually going to break their hearts.

That’s what makes the movie so frustrating. It keeps trying to frame Jeffrey as this troubled, misunderstood guy who just can’t get out of his own way. But he’s not just making mistakes. He is actively choosing the worst possible thing over and over again. Every time life presents him with even the tiniest chance to do the right thing, he takes a hard left into stupidity.

Eventually Jeffrey learns how much money he’ll need to get the fake IDs and make his South America plan happen. So he changes Leigh’s work schedule in the store computer to make sure she shows up later, giving him time to rob the store that morning. That plan works right up until Leigh walks in during the robbery and recognizes him, even though he’s wearing a mask. He still escapes, still meets up with his contact, still hands over the money, and for one brief moment it looks like his absurd little plan might actually work.

He’s got the IDs coming. He’s got the airport setup. He’s got a contact who’s supposed to wave him through. Everything is in motion.

Then, on the morning he’s supposed to leave for South America, Leigh calls and invites him over for Christmas. And this is where the movie tries to make you think Jeffrey is torn between the life he could have and the mess he has made. He tells her he can’t come. He hangs up. He boards the plane. He leaves for South America and never sees Leigh again….nah, I’m just kidding with you.

Instead, he goes to her house and gets arrested almost immediately because she obviously knew it was him and told the police. So now, on top of everything else, he gets hit with an additional 32 years on his sentence.

And now surely, surely, Jeffrey has learned his lesson. Surely now he decides he’s done running, that he’s finally going to live out the rest of his sentence and devote himself to becoming a better man…..nah for the final time, Jeffrey tried to escape prison two more times. And that, apparently, is our hero.

That is the fundamental issue with Roofman. The movie seems fascinated by Jeffrey’s charm, his cleverness, and his odd little acts of kindness, but it never really grapples with the fact that he is an absolute scumbag of a human being. This is a man who repeatedly ruins not only his own life, but the lives of everyone around him, all while the movie keeps nudging you like, “Come on, isn’t he kind of lovable?”

No. He’s not.

He’s frustrating. Deeply frustrating. Because every single time he does anything, you already know it’s going to be the wrong choice. There’s no suspense in that. There’s just dread. You watch him move through the story like a man determined to sabotage every possible off-ramp to a better life.

So no, I do not recommend Roofman one bit. I found it incredibly frustrating from start to finish.

Now, if you want a really good thief movie, go watch Inside Man instead. You’ve got Denzel Washington trying to get everyone out safely while Clive Owen and his crew pull off a robbery that is packed with twists. Inside Man is a 10 out of 10 while Roofman is the movie that keeps asking you to admire a guy who never stops making the worst possible decision.

World War Joe

Apple’s $250 Million Pit Stop: The F1 Movie That Forgot the Finish Line

When a studio sets out to make a movie, the logic should be simple: spend modestly, earn big. But Apple’s latest cinematic detour with F1—a racing drama starring Brad Pitt—is a reminder that Hollywood still hasn’t mastered that math.

F1 has now become the highest-grossing original film of the year… with a box office haul of just $410 million. That might sound like a win until you realize the budget was reportedly $250 million, with some estimates ballooning closer to $300 million—and that’s before adding “significant marketing costs.” What marketing, exactly? The speaker hasn’t seen a single trailer, ad, or even whisper of the film’s existence in mainstream promo channels.

Let’s break this down. It’s a racing movie. Not Avatar. Not a CGI-heavy space opera. A film that, in theory, shouldn’t need hundreds of millions in digital effects. Yet here we are.

Brad Pitt remains a respectable name in film, but is he still a box office draw worth that kind of paycheck? The speaker raises the very real question: Could this movie have been made for hundreds of millions less without him? Probably.

And this isn’t an isolated incident. The pattern continues with big studio releases that “make” hundreds of millions and still somehow lose money. Quantum Mania, The Marvels, Thunderbolts—all examples of massive box office totals paired with even more massive losses.

Apple, flush with iPhone profits, seems to be treating its streaming service like a tax write-off. Movies like Napoleon appeared in theaters for a blink before heading to streaming, making one wonder: Why would anyone pay to see these in theaters if they’ll be online in a week?

Bottom line? F1 is the most profitable original movie of the year. And still, it’s a disaster. The math doesn’t add up—but then again, neither does most budgets today. 

World War Joe 

Jake Paul in Creed 4?

Jake Paul in Creed 4? Please No.

Hollywood has a bad habit of chasing trends without understanding what actually makes something work. Case in point: the swirling rumor that Jake Paul might appear in Creed 4. Whether he’ll show up as a villain, a cameo, or a full-on opponent for Adonis Creed hasn’t been confirmed—but even as a whisper, it’s a bad idea.

Let’s break this down.

Jake Paul is a former Disney Channel star who pivoted to boxing—not through traditional routes, but by handpicking opponents like retired UFC fighters, ex-NBA players, and past-their-prime boxers. The man’s entire boxing career has been built more on spectacle than sport. And that’s not even touching the allegations that some of his fights are rigged, with slow-motion footage suggesting clear pre-arranged signals before knockouts.

So why inject that kind of circus energy into a franchise that, up to this point, has been about legacy, struggle, and legitimate athletic drama? The Creed series built itself as a worthy continuation of the Rocky saga—stories rooted in grit, growth, and real emotion. Jake Paul undermines that.

Some might argue it’s just a cameo. A blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment. But even then—why? What’s the point of putting a divisive internet personality in a franchise built on authenticity? It doesn’t boost credibility. It doesn’t honor the sport. It doesn’t add anything, except maybe headlines from the kind of sites that confuse buzz for quality.

Let’s hope this stays a rumor. Because if Creed 4 wants to keep swinging with heart, it shouldn’t be shadowboxing with YouTube gimmicks.

World War Joe

Spiderman 3 Will Flop

Ahsoka Season 2: Leia to the Rescue? Or Just Another Star Wars Rehash?

On this episode of “Why Weren’t You in Season One?” I tackle the latest from Screen Rant, who boldly declare that Ahsoka Season 2 “must finally make one heartbreaking recast.” And by heartbreaking, they mean recasting Princess Leia—again. But… didn’t that already happen?

Let’s rewind a bit. Remember Rogue One? That final scene with Leia that led right into A New Hope? Yeah, that wasn’t actually Carrie Fisher. It was CGI. They even brought Grand Moff Tarkin back from the dead using digital sorcery—and the world kept turning. So why all the hand-wringing now?

The truth is, Ahsoka Season 1 already felt like it was missing half the galaxy. Where were Luke, Han, Leia? If we’re pretending Admiral Thrawn is the next Thanos-level threat, where were the actual big players? When Ewan McGregor’s wife asked for backup, the New Republic practically laughed in her face. Wouldn’t that have been the perfect time for Princess Leia to show up and lend some real weight to the mission? You know—troops, authority, relevance?

But no. Instead, we got a ragtag team trying to save the galaxy while the rest of the characters seemingly just scrolled past the group chat.

Now, Ahsoka Season 2 is somehow greenlit. Yes, one of the lowest-rated shows on Disney+—a series that most fans, especially the ones who care about Star Wars lore, universally panned—is getting a second season. It’s a move that feels less like a creative decision and more like a stubborn refusal to read the room.

And here’s the kicker: Screen Rant’s article argues that Leia “needs to be shown as the hero Carrie Fisher should have gotten to be.” That sentence alone is confusing enough, but the irony is worse. This same outlet has already published multiple articles claiming Leia was already the real hero of Star Wars. One in 2021: “10 Reasons Leia Was the Original Trilogy’s Real Hero.” Another in 2024: “Leia Was the Real New Hope in the Original Trilogy.”

So which is it? Leia was already the real MVP… or we need to force her into Ahsoka Season 2 to prove it all over again?

Disney seems dead set on rewriting the mythos, show by show. And now, it looks like Ahsoka Season 2 is shaping up to be less about Ahsoka and more about Leia 2.0—probably a CG version, because let’s be real, they’re not going to recast her. Much like Luke in The Mandalorian, we’ll likely get a face-mapped digital Leia, slapped onto a body double and run through some AI filters. It’s not about the story anymore—it’s about keeping IPs on life support with nostalgia cameos and legacy-brand cameos.

At this point, does it even matter when the show comes out? Will anyone notice? Season 1 already came and went with all the fanfare of a whisper. So what’s Season 2 supposed to fix?

Let me know what you think. Should Leia have been in Season 1? Will Season 2 turn the ship around? Or are we just watching Disney dig a deeper hole in a galaxy far, far away?

I Made A Garden