Category Archives: Movies and Shows

Great Cast Wrong Movie

Chris Pratt as Mario? The Cast of 'Super Mario Bros.' Movie Revealed –  NBC10 Philadelphia

I don’t like the cast in the upcoming Mario movie. Not because I don’t like Chris Pratt. I think he is an amazing actor who should be in a lot of high-profile movies and shows, but he shouldn’t voice Mario because Mario is one of the most recognizable voices in gaming history. Pratt shouldn’t be a voice actor for someone who doesn’t sound like him. If I’m paying A list celebrity, one of the most recognizable actors in Hollywood today, someone who has a very clear and distinct voice, then I want to hear HIM.

I feel this way about a lot of voice acted movies with high profile actors in it. Sean Penn in Angry Birds and Vin Diesel playing Groot were waste of time castings meanwhile Pratt and Tom Holland in Onward were amazing castings because they sounded, acted and weirdly enough kind of resembled their characters on screen.

Super Mario Bros. Movie Lands Chris Pratt, Anya Taylor-Joy, Seth Rogen -  Variety

I played a game called Twelve Minutes that had James McAvoy, Daisey Ridley and Willem Dafoe as voice actors. Dafoe was the only one I recognized. And it was a terrible game so you wasted a lot of money on two voice actors I had to look up to actually know they were in the game.

Pratt is just going to do his best Mario impression and if he does it well, then he will sound like Mario in the videogames and you didn’t need Pratt for that. Or if he doesn’t sound like Mario then people are going to complain that he doesn’t sound like Mario.

What Super Mario Bros' Cast Reveals About The Movie | Screen Rant

The rest of the casting choices are very weird as well. Charlie Day as Luigi, Jack Black as Bowser, Seth Rogan as Donkey Kong, I don’t know who Anya Taylor-Joy is but she’s playing Princess Peach. These actors all have distinct voices and it just seems like they are grabbing all these big names to build the hype of the movie. Which isn’t a good sign.

I do hope the movie is a massive success. I love videogame movies, but hate when they take the characters in the game and put them in the real world. So, what do you guys think about it?

Simptastic Joe

You Learned Nothing?

Is Movie 'Solo: A Star Wars Story 2018' streaming on Netflix?

Around the 15-minute mark, Han joins the Empire and is sent to bootcamp. The next scene has the title card 3 Years Later. Han is in the middle of a battle and doesn’t know anything. And the title card should’ve said maybe 3 days later. He starts off flying back from an explosion, he’s hyperventilating, questioning “why are we here?” to his commanding officer.

Now I know Star War’s movie Solo wasn’t perfect. I liked it, I wouldn’t rank it among the best Star Wars movies ever made, but it was a fun ride for. But there is a scene that I hate so much and I find it weird that it’s not mentioned among reviewers.

Solo: A Star Wars Story': Inside the Director Swap, Re-Shoots & More -  Variety

Were you asleep in the briefing? Were you just on the crapper during this? Was he hooking up with an Ewok off world during this?

Are you telling me Han learned nothing in boot camp? That he went through 3 years of hanging with the Empire, having the best weapons in the galaxy at his disposal, learning from top military leaders and looks this green? Why would they even deploy him? And the Empire isn’t stupid. They aren’t just going to send in this guy, who doesn’t even know what’s going on, as cannon fodder. I guess the Clones were expendable, they were massed produced, but highly trained. They were also cloned from the greatest bounty hunter in the galaxy. And if the Clone Wars TV gave us was insight to their training and preparation. Some of my favorite episodes were of Clones learning the ropes, being part of a unit, and overcoming an endless robot army.

I think this scene is a good indicator of why the movie was so bad. The opening scene we see Han fresh out of a heist, then shortly after he double crosses the gang he’s with, he hotwires a speeder and hatches a brilliant plan of getting him and his girlfriend off world. Han is calm, confident and most importantly cool. He takes daring risks and totally embodies Harrison Ford. But after that battle scene, Han isn’t the same.

Solo: A Star Wars Story 4K Blu-ray (Ultimate Collector's Edition)

It almost felt like the rest of the movie was a rewrite. I felt the same way watching the new Mortal Kombat. That opening scene was awesome, the cinematography, lighting and fighting were all perfect. Then the rest of the movie felt clunky and quickly written.

Han embodied too many emotions and barely felt like the same character in consecutive scenes. Alden Ehrenreich did a great job, but it looked like the scenes were vastly filmed out of order and he found a great feel for the character later on in filming and it was too late to redo the previous scenes.

Maybe I’m looking too much into it, but let me know what you guys thought.

World War Joe

The Eternals i can wait

I don’t see the hype with this movie. I think the trailer has more questions than answers.

How to Fix teela

Masters of the Universe: Revelation' Review - Wonderfully Earnest Fun

There’s no surprise that the extremely woke direction of the Netflix show Masters of the Universe Revelations didn’t sit too kindly with the fans. The show was constantly pandering to the strong, diverse and sexually explorative female leads and pushed aside and literally killed off any male leads that could steal the spotlight.

Now we are left with a tainted show and a Kevin Smith fighting to keep his spot in Hollywood alive. It’s foolish to say that this one terrible show will be the death of Smith, but it does create a snowball effect that’ll probably stay with him for most of his remaining career. Obviously, his Clerks 3 won’t be competing with Avatar and Endgame for top grossing movies of all time, but I think it will fail by even the most liberal of expectations.

Netflix's Masters of the Universe: Revelation review: a new future - The  Verge

But instead of crapping on this show more, here’s what I would’ve done to make everyone happy. If the goal of the show in the end was to make Teela the main character of the show, to make her someone the fans would love to see a spinoff of, then it takes a slow burn.

I remember the first time I saw Ahsoka Tano in The Clone Wars movie. Ahsoka was annoying to watch and there really wasn’t anything redeeming about her character. Then Star Wars created The Clone Wars tv show and that featured Ahsoka a lot. She had incredible character development. We got to see her come into her own as a Jedi, lead armies into battle, make mistakes and at the end of the series became a fan favorite.

Geek Review - Masters of the Universe: Revelation (Netflix) | Geek Culture

That’s what Smith should’ve done with Teela. The first season of the show should’ve been focused on He-Man, obviously, and Teela as a strong supporting character. Through the season, we get to see her fight alongside He-Man, get to develop her character naturally through events of the show. Maybe even have her on her own quests of some episodes to give her more depth to her character. And if the plan was to kill off He-Man, you can have Teela as the successor after giving her a lot of time to develop and grow.

Most importantly, you have to make her fail. Writers today are making female leads the perfect characters and devoid of any flaws. They are tougher and smarter than the male characters who are drastically nerfed to make the females even better. But, you have to fail. We don’t want Mary Sue characters, who are perfect in every way and devoid of any flaws.

Kevin Smith Raises the Stakes in Masters of the Universe: Revelation <<  Rotten Tomatoes – Movie and TV News

Rocky lost, Luke Skywalker lost, Batman lost, Spider-Man lost, all the Avengers lost battles, and if you want Teela to be a fan favorite then she has to lose sometimes and most importantly come back stronger and wiser from it. Smith would forgo all these ideas and tried to push Teela down our throats and backfired massively.

So how screwed are they and most importantly, what do you think of how I would’ve written the show?

Simptastic Joe

Terminator: How Do The Machines Lose?

I’ve been binging the Terminator movies randomly and a weird question popped in my mind at 3 in the morning. How do the machines lose? I know the original movie, and I mean original original movie, was about how Skynet’s plan is to send a terminator back in time to kill resistance leader John Connor’s mother, thus killing the future savior of humanity.

Then the second movie comes around and Skynet sends another terminator back in time to kill John Connor. And then the third one comes around to Skynet sending back another terminator to kill Connor and his lieutenants. Needless to say the plot of the Terminator franchise repeat themselves alittle.

Now back to the question. How do the machines lose in the future? In the first Terminator, the machines sent back a T-800 model played by the hulking Arnold Schwarzenegger. In that movie, the T-800 was unstoppable. It killed an entire police department with no trouble. It got hit by cars, shot, blew up and kept coming. Ultimately being crushed under a hydraulic press, but before that it did a ton of damage.

 The movie even showed what Earth looked like during the war with the machines. We aren’t doing very well in that fight. What’s left of humanity is hiding underground and barely able to fend off the massive robot army.

In the sequel, we have another T-800 return as a good guy and we are introduced to the T-1000, a robot comprised of liquid metal who can shapeshift, form his arms into swords and other weapons and take endless amounts of damge. Again, we get a glimpse into the future of hundreds of T-800s walking across the destroyed cities of the world. The T-800, even though he’s a good guy, goes through an entire SWAT team, taking bullets to the face and keeps coming. And the T-1000 finally met its end after being outsmarted, but for most of the movie he was winning.

In the third movie we are introduced to the T-X which is comprised of a metal skeleton and has the liquid metal on top. This lets it use the same spike arms and also be able to shoot out laser beams and use other gadgets.

So the point I’m making, is how does a robot army lose the battle. This isn’t like Mel Gibson rallying the famers against the British. This is clearly a no-win situation. As we’ve seen in the previous films, we are losing this battle.

In Terminator Salvation we actually get a movie centered around the battle for the humanity against the machines. And in that one we are shown massive Terminators the size of buildings, motorcycle robots and massive air crafts that take hostages.

The Terminators get deadlier with each film and even though Dark Fate was terrible, I thought the concept of a Terminator who can separate from its liquid metal to make 2 Terminators was a cool addition.

And with the last 2 movies in the franchise were reboots, I don’t think the creators actually have a realistic way the humans win. Even copying the Terminators concept of going back in time to stop Skynet and Legion before it ever gets started is a concept that would get old fast.

Its sad to see a franchise that started off so strong go downhill in just a few short movies. Unless they throw some serious money into the script or have a solid, multi movie plan, then this series will never return back to its glory days.

Let me know what you guys think about the Terminator franchise moving forward and what changes need to be made.

Simptastic Joe

Digging A Deeper Hole

Kevin Smith LIED To Fans! | Masters Of The Universe: Revela

After the overall negative reviews of Netflix’s Masters of the Universe Revelations, Showrunner Kevin Smith quickly took to social media. Smith claimed the show has been “review bombed” which is the made-up excuse filmmakers and studios give when their product fails. Its weird that they never actually own up to their mistakes, but instead make it seem like the product is being targeted by a handful of negative people with dozens of emails to leave negative reviews.

Smith made a Q&A with a voice actor of the show to explain the direction and reason for a lot of the hate from the show. Smith backtracked over and over again, trying to twist Tweets that he sent and put a positive and misguided spin on them.

tv/ - Damage control - Television & Film - 4chan

Probably the most embarrassing part of the video, was when he cited a conversation with Netflix about the negative comments. Smith stated that one of the higher ups said he shouldn’t worry about the negative reviews. The higher up said that they have 200 million subscribers and only a handful of negative reviews. Well….then why the Q&A? If things are all good and the show is realistically a hit and all the negative reviews are a lie, then there is no reason to address the criticism.

I believe the negative reviews are overwhelming. I believe Netflix, who is a billion or so in debt, needed this show to be a hit. He-Man was a massive part of toy industry in the 80s and 90s. The shows, comics and toys have a massive following still. And us fan boys that grew up with those properties were excited to see a new revitalized version of He-Man.

Kevin Smith Has a Message for Angry He-Man Fans: 'Grow the F-- Up'

And since Smith was a “fan” of He-Man, as he continues to claim, then why this misdirection. Why kill off the title character in the first episode? Why center the show around Teela, a character nowhere near the top of fan favorites, and most importantly why lie about it?

Did Smith think viewers of the show will just ignore the fact that he flat out lied to fans before the show debuted. Even during the Q&A, Smith explained how worried he was when leaks came out about He-Man dying and the shows overall direction. Smith kept claiming that leaks were wrong and He-Man is the star and that the rumors of making it about Teela were also false.

Smith is stuck doing damage control desperately trying to preserve his image and hoping that this catastrophe wont effect his upcoming Clerks 3. Is it bad to think that Clerks 3 will fail on its own, but Smith will claim it’s the toxic He-Man fans still gunning for his career after he bastardized their childhood hero?

Kevin Smith LIED?! Masters of the Universe: Revelation Review Embargo  LIFTED! - YouTube

It’s going to be interesting to see what Smith and Netflix do to try to fix their image. Maybe Netflix will double down saying that the even though the majority hated the show, getting people talking about the product is still good for business. Or maybe Netflix will cut their losses and scrap any sequels like they’ve done with dozens of other shows. Either way, Netflix or Smith will not take any blame for their actions. I imagine Smith will take to social media like many other canceled stars and blame others for their actions. Either way, it’ll be interesting to watch.  

Simptastic Joe  

Masters of the Universe All Lies

Kevin Smith lied to all the He-Man fans leading up to the shows debut. Well, he can’t lie anymore and his reputation and future in Cinema is threatened by this.

Loki : A Variant Mess

I have my own theories watching this show. Overall, it was ok. Disney has their work cut out for them