Tag Archives: movie

Movies and Shows

Lightyear Damage Control

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Call me a conspiracy theorist, but I don’t think certain things get leaked without a reason. Disney has announced they have a woman kissing woman scene in the new Buzz Lightyear movie. Many people think this is in response to a new bill proposed by Ron DeSantis, banning schools from teaching about sexual orientation until after 3rd grade. The bill is now being trolled as an anti-gay bill and Disney is mad about that.

Now all of a sudden, it is leaked that the same sex kissing scene will be in the movie…after apparently being cut from the movie. My issue is why is a kiss the most talked about thing in this movie? I haven’t heard a single thing about the plot, any secret cameos or anything important.

The same thing happened before the movie the Eternals came out. In that movie, there was a man kissing another man for a second and that was all the internet was talking about. I didn’t read anything about how this movie tied into the MCU, nothing about the after-credit scenes, nothing about anything of value except the kiss. And Disney blamed the low box office numbers and bad reviews on that kiss.

Is Disney already writing the narrative of why Lightyear is going to fail? Are they going to go with the Liberal 3 (catchphrase pending), that the hate is from homophobic, misogynist, white supremacists? Or is the hate going to be well deserved because the movie might be poorly written?

I don’t expect this movie to crush the box office records by any means. The creation of Disney+ makes me ok with waiting for the movie to come to streaming for the included price. I think the only Marvel movie I saw in theaters in the last few years was No Way Home because it wasn’t going to be on Disney+. So why would I pay extra to see the movie in theaters of pay a Disney+ premium price to watch a movie that I can just wait a few months to see for no extra cost?

More importantly, will the Chinese release have this same sex kiss in it? Disney has kowtowed to China many times over the past few years. Making Finn smaller on the Chinese Star Wars poster and putting Black Panther in a mask in the movie poster didn’t really scream China really like black people. The Eternals didn’t have a release in China because of the same sex kiss. China is a massive part of Disney’s profits, so it’ll be interesting to see what the new Disney direction will be without China’s influence.

Do you agree with my theory that Disney is pushing the narrative? Do you think Lightyear will fail in the box office?

Let me know.

Movies and Shows

Will Smith: Damage Control

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After “the slap” Will Smith’s career is in jeopardy. Smith has already resigned from the Academy Awards (whatever that means) and will be facing legal charges from Chris Rock in the coming weeks. Apparently, Bad Boys 4 and his upcoming on Netflix are on pause for the moment.

My prediction is that Smith is going to check himself into some kind of rehab for a bit. His family will be completely silent on the incident. Smith will plead not guilty to any Rock lawsuits and get it dropped to no jail time, some rehab and a big damages settlement. Rock already had hecklers at his comedy special shortly after the Oscars so he can easily say this incident has impacted his career.

The real truth is that Smith doesn’t care about his actions, he cares about his punishment and that’s why he’s getting a jump start on his redemption path. Right now, he and his wife are working on his apology to the world. He’s going to donate a big portion of his next movie paycheck to some kind of abusers group.

In a few years, people won’t forget about the slap, but Smith’s career will be just fine. His agent will start casting him in big ensemble movies where Smith can be a supporting actor and the movie won’t be boycotted. Smith will go back to roots and act in cool stuff and not Oscar winning movies that nobody will ever see or heard existed.

But where do you see Will Smith’s career going forward?

Simptastic Joe

Videogames

You Can’t Have Two Endings

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Choosing between multiple endings has become a staple in videogames today. Series like Mass Effect and The Walking Dead let you carry over the decisions from previous games into the new ones. However, those decisions and endings aren’t massively different, but still give the player a feel that their choices matter.

Games like Injustice 2 and Mortal Kombat 11 Aftermath have ruined their sequels because of their multiple outcomes. The ending of Injustice 2 lets you pick the Batman, good ending or the Superman, bad ending. Choosing Batman’s ending means Superman and Brainiac are defeated. Superman is then imprisoned in the Phantom Zone and vows revenge. The Superman ending is massively different. After defeating Batman and Brainiac, Superman uses Brainiac’s mind control ability to control Batman, and seemingly the rest of the Justice League becoming the ruler of earth.

So how would Injustice 3 start? What ending do they start with? Do you get to choose how it starts? Right there you are making 2 massively different games that the events of the previous game are vastly different. Maybe NetherRealm are buying time with their Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League videogame coming out in 2022.

Mortal Kombat hit a home run with MK9 where they reset the timeline and you got to play the game from the beginning and started a more linear timeline. MK10 was even better where they introduced the next wave of MK characters and started to give the old classics their final endings. Then MK11 happened and took away all the progress of the previous two games. The ending of that game, Lui Kang is now in control of the timeline and has the ability to red con the entire series again.

Then NetherRealm decided to reset the timeline again with MK11 Aftermath where again time travel was the theme. The issue is the endings. You can play as Lui Kang, defeat Shang Tsung, and reset history in a nice happy way. Choosing Shang Tsung’s ending makes him the ruler of the realms and going on a bloody crusade to rule over everyone. Again, two vastly different endings. There is a rumored April 2023 date for MK12, but now we don’t have a clear ending on the previous game so its difficult to tell how the next installment will begin.

Do you think NetherRealm backed themselves into a corner making vastly different endings? Let me know what you think.

SimptasticJoe

Movies and Shows

Soul : A Symphony of Failure

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Disney movies usually have messages of perseverance, working hard, and to keep on moving forward. Soul doesn’t do that. The message at the end of Soul is “you might not achieve your dreams, but appreciate every moment” which isn’t a good for young children and failing adults.

In Soul, the main character Joe Gardner doesn’t want to be stuck in an everyday routine. He wants to be a jazz concert musician and not just a music teacher. At the end, Joe finally gets his chance to be part of a popular jazz band, but realizes he’ll just be doing the same thing everyday and then gives it up for the vague message of “I don’t know what tomorrow will bring but I’m happy about it”.

What makes it worse, is that the band hired someone else for that night, but Joe insisted he’s the best person for that job and they told the other guy to leave. So, Joe got someone fired from the biggest moment of their life so he can achieve your dream, but then gave up on it when it wasn’t everything he wanted it to be.

This movie isn’t for the motivated dream chaser, its for the settler who can now justify their plain existence with the message of “I live life every day to the fullest” as they clock into their 9-5 or part time job talking about how they’re winning at life. Bad message Disney. Bad message.

Movies and Shows

Adventures of Buck Wild

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Does Disney know what the word “Adventures” mean? Adventures, as in more than one? From what I read online, take that with a grain of salt, the original idea was supposed to be a series of shorts, but they decided to go with a feature length movie instead. Which begs the question of why didn’t they do a series?

This movie was ok, but it did have a lot going for it. Buck Wild is a very fun character and the Lost World environment can really bring in a lot of new ideas. Wild has all the qualities of an action hero. He is brave, adventurous, kind and smart.

I didn’t fall in love with Crash and Eddie of the Ice Age series, so having them tag along with Wild felt like a slap in the face for a very exciting character. If I wrote this, Wild wouldn’t have any interaction with the Ice Age cast. I would give Wild his own 15-20 time slot where he goes on his own adventures. Maybe have the main bad guy of the movie in the show, give him the same love interest and his own rag tag group of characters to play off of and you got a show.

It seemed like an extremely simple concept which would’ve worked out for Disney in many ways. Giving Wild his own story would’ve opened up a lot more merchandising and spin off opportunity, but Disney instead decided to stick Wild with 2 of the worst comic relief characters they could find and came out with a subpar product.

Simptastic Joe

Movies and Shows

Terminator: How Do The Machines Lose?

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I’ve been binging the Terminator movies randomly and a weird question popped in my mind at 3 in the morning. How do the machines lose? I know the original movie, and I mean original original movie, was about how Skynet’s plan is to send a terminator back in time to kill resistance leader John Connor’s mother, thus killing the future savior of humanity.

Then the second movie comes around and Skynet sends another terminator back in time to kill John Connor. And then the third one comes around to Skynet sending back another terminator to kill Connor and his lieutenants. Needless to say the plot of the Terminator franchise repeat themselves alittle.

Now back to the question. How do the machines lose in the future? In the first Terminator, the machines sent back a T-800 model played by the hulking Arnold Schwarzenegger. In that movie, the T-800 was unstoppable. It killed an entire police department with no trouble. It got hit by cars, shot, blew up and kept coming. Ultimately being crushed under a hydraulic press, but before that it did a ton of damage.

 The movie even showed what Earth looked like during the war with the machines. We aren’t doing very well in that fight. What’s left of humanity is hiding underground and barely able to fend off the massive robot army.

In the sequel, we have another T-800 return as a good guy and we are introduced to the T-1000, a robot comprised of liquid metal who can shapeshift, form his arms into swords and other weapons and take endless amounts of damge. Again, we get a glimpse into the future of hundreds of T-800s walking across the destroyed cities of the world. The T-800, even though he’s a good guy, goes through an entire SWAT team, taking bullets to the face and keeps coming. And the T-1000 finally met its end after being outsmarted, but for most of the movie he was winning.

In the third movie we are introduced to the T-X which is comprised of a metal skeleton and has the liquid metal on top. This lets it use the same spike arms and also be able to shoot out laser beams and use other gadgets.

So the point I’m making, is how does a robot army lose the battle. This isn’t like Mel Gibson rallying the famers against the British. This is clearly a no-win situation. As we’ve seen in the previous films, we are losing this battle.

In Terminator Salvation we actually get a movie centered around the battle for the humanity against the machines. And in that one we are shown massive Terminators the size of buildings, motorcycle robots and massive air crafts that take hostages.

The Terminators get deadlier with each film and even though Dark Fate was terrible, I thought the concept of a Terminator who can separate from its liquid metal to make 2 Terminators was a cool addition.

And with the last 2 movies in the franchise were reboots, I don’t think the creators actually have a realistic way the humans win. Even copying the Terminators concept of going back in time to stop Skynet and Legion before it ever gets started is a concept that would get old fast.

Its sad to see a franchise that started off so strong go downhill in just a few short movies. Unless they throw some serious money into the script or have a solid, multi movie plan, then this series will never return back to its glory days.

Let me know what you guys think about the Terminator franchise moving forward and what changes need to be made.

Simptastic Joe

Videogames

Gears of War TV Show: Gina Carano

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With Gina Carano getting the Disney double-standard boot, she is free to do anything she wants. Daily Wire and Ben Shapiro have reported to be in the works of filming a movie about Cancel Culture staring and produced by Carano. This will obviously be a huge opportunity for Carano and others effected by this radical way of thinking, but what project should she do after that?

I think a Gears of War TV adaptation is the perfect role for Carano. The only issue is the series would be starting in Gears 4 instead of the first game. Carano would be playing the role of Kate Diaz, a character who is now a main staple in the Gears of War series. Having Carano as a Gear is almost the same role as her time in The Mandalorian, a strong warrior who isn’t a pandering device for audiences.

Gears might make an ok movie, but videogame movies usually rush the story and miss a lot of key moments for time reasons. I have seen some rumors of a Gears of War movie discussed, but those rumors happen almost every year. Gears of War is one of the most popular franchises in gaming and still amasses a very dedicated fanbase. Combine that with Carano popularity and her ridiculous dismissal from Disney could make this series an early hit.

Joe Reyes