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Movies and Shows

A Cry for Help: John Mulaney Baby J

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When AI technology copies the voice of John Mulaney, he will be out of work for good, because I can’t imagine a single studio taking a chance on him after seeing his new comedy special, Baby J. Let’s me give a little backstory first before I get into it.

Mulaney is a standup comedian who went to rehab in 2021. He is reportedly “clean” now and decided to do a Netflix Special explaining his time in rehab and what he did after. Imagine watching a man, publicly tell a group of people all the ways he’s a complete screw up, but he does it in a silly voice?

Mulaney explained the night of his intervention. First buying drugs and then trying to get a haircut at the Saturday Night Live studio at 7pm, because he desperately needed a haircut while high on drugs. Afterwards, walking into an apartment with 12 people trying to get him to change his life around. In rehab, Mulaney joked about not being recognized by his fellow junkies and told stories of his “doctors” who gave him whatever drugs he wanted. All the while, speaking in a funny voice.

After rehab, of course, Mulaney still wanted drugs and told a story of how he bought a 12 thousand dollar watch to pawn it off and ended up getting 6 thousand dollars for it, because he wasn’t able to access his bank accounts without a doctor notified. After that embarrassing story Mulaney said, “if you think that’s bad, imagine all the stories I didn’t tell you,” And the audience laughed because again, he said it in a funny voice.

There was one takeaway that really made me point to the screen and say, “well that explains it,” It was when Mulaney explained that he’s been drinking since he was 6 because his father let him do it. This was the confession of a man masking his demons with comedy.

The oddest part of me watching this, was when Mulaney mentioned he has a son and after a quick Google search, I found out that he had a kid with Olivia Munn. Mulaney’s marriage ended in 2021, and then he started dating Munn and went to rehab. Munn dated and had a kid with Mulaney at his absolute lowest point in life…. what the F#@$ was going on with her life at that time? Munn dated Aaron Rogers during his peak years and also Chris Pine, but somehow let John “snorting coke off the child’s changing station at a gas station” Mulaney put it in her?

I was a fan of Mulaney’s earlier specials and I liked Big Mouth, before I realized that it’s a show written for people who want to see kids in sexual situations. Thankfully, that show in its final season. I do wonder what’s next for Mulaney going forward. I imagine Netflix will throw a boat load of money for a single “soon to be canceled” tv show on their network.

It was amazing to me that I put this special on in support of him, but came away disgusted of the man. I do think men like Mulaney will never truly defeat their demons, mainly because he is constantly surrounded by deviants, but I hope the best for him and look forward to the day he can make me laugh again from actual jokes and not just a funny voice.

Movies and Shows

Dr Death

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Let me tell you about a brilliant neurosurgeon, Christopher Duntsch. A man who wants to heal people. MD. PhD, about a decade of experience, 5 star reviews, recommendations from top accredited professionals, was trying to patent his stem cell research to cure spinal injuries. Confident, cool, and always had a plan to fix his patients.

And then in the years of 2011 to 2013, it was reported that Duntsch operated on 37 patients, killing 2 and leaving 35 with permanent and serious injuries. Even his best friend wasn’t safe.

He wasn’t even slick about it. Duntsch was blatantly doing the wrong thing in front of everyone. Neurosurgeon Robert Henderson and vascular surgeon Randall Kirby were the doctors who instantly knew something was up with Duntsch. Either Duntsch was the most incompetent doctor they ever saw, or he was a sociopath.

In one scene a patient’s procedure was compared to an IKEA box. Parts scattered around and not connected. Another scene had a massive sponge left in a patient causing a life-threatening infection.

Duntsch was able to move around to 4 different hospitals during these incidents without any pushback. Even as an investigation was being done, Duntsch wasn’t suspended, he was free to keep practicing, operating and hurting patients.

As Duntsch was on trial, I was almost surprised he was found guilty. Yes, obviously Duntsch willingly hurt his patients, but I’ve seen how its tough to prove intent in a trial. I remember watching every minute of the Casey Anthony trail, and before the verdict was read, I knew she wasn’t going to be convicted of murder.

The defense was citing Duntsch’s training as to why he made so many mistakes. Most neurosurgical residents do about 1,000 surgeries in their residency. Duntsch performed less than 100. Which in dealing with precise medical procedures you would want all the on-the-job training you can get.

Thankfully, this went in the other direction and Duntsch is now facing life in prison. Which is good because Duntsch always had a plan. Even with his medical license was revoked, Duntsch’s plan was just to go to another state to practice medicine. One of my favorite lines of the show was “There are 49 other states I can practice in. Hell, there’s a whole world,” he was never going to stop.

Peacock put of ton of effort into one of their first big original shows. Joshua Jackson plays the role of Duntsch perfectly and I’m surprised he doesn’t have more upcoming projects on his IMDB page, but after this show he should be flooded with work. I imagine there should be a nomination from this show somewhere.

Alec Baldwin and Christian Slatter have a perfect Ying and Yang styles of acting that work perfectly. Baldwin is more precise and professional while Slatter is more comically entertaining, but not overplayed.

The only flaw, if there is one, is that there isn’t an impactful ending to the series. Dr Death doesn’t end like a typical big budget Hollywood show. This show closely reminds me of one of my favorite and Oscar snubbed movie Wind River, where there was no big mystery to solve. It was pretty obvious what happened at the start and when that movie ended, I was waiting for another act to surprise me.

There was no big reveal to why Duntsch was doing this. The only thing I can think of he has a massive ego and when he is questioned at all that sets him off and takes it out on patients and his staff. Girlfriend breaks up with him and he give her glances as he paralyzes a patient. If a husband has some concerns about his wife’s surgery, then Duntsch hurts her. If his coach questions his ability, then he tackles the quarterback hard. So, we never got a satisfying “You can’t handle the truth moment” in court.

Dr Death isnt a show for the faint of heart. At some moments in the show I had to turn it off for an hour, take a walk, get some water and restart it. I hope you enjoy it.

Movies and Shows

Big Mouth:Creepy Demographic

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There is push in America to expose children to more sexual topics in schools and in entertainment. Balenciaga landed in hot water with some sexual pictures of children holding up bondage gear, we’re seeing a massive number of books being taken off a Elementary School Library shelves with sexual content in them and now grown men are fighting for thr right to dance provocatively in front of children

Remember the movie Cuties on Netflix? The one where “reportedly” dozens of little girls were auditioned and they all had to twerk before the casting director “allegedly”? Yea, that happened. Now, lets talk about a show on Netflix called Big Mouth.

Big Mouth is an “adult animation” show about children growing up and becoming more sexually active. The main characters have Hormone Monsters who show them how to masturbate and they discuss their sexual urges in great detail. There’s a lot a lot of cartoon nudity…of children. Who is this show for?

Is it possible that Big Mouth is a show hiding behind the category of “adult animation” and made for an audience of people who want to see sexualized children and child pornography? 

World War Joe

Movies and Shows

Violent Night: On The Verge Of Something Great

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I remember a time when movies were fun without being overly stupid. Where even movies with serious plots found time for comedy and silly movies had serious moments. Violent Night is action packed, but not overbearing, funny without being cringy, but most importantly fun

The plot is very simple. A group of highly trained mercenaries attempt to rob a rich family during their Christmas party. Santa, who is depressed about how the true meaning of Christmas is dying, is in the middle of delivering presents when the robbery happens. From the trailer, this looked like John Wick in a Santa Clause outfit and for most of the movie it’s the opposite, but when Santa finds the Christmas spirit again and taps into his Viking Heritage, he goes on a killing spree, brutally killing all the mercenaries with a sledgehammer and with Christmas Magic.

Was this an Oscar winning movie? No. Was it one of the most entertaining movies of the year, that didn’t try to shove a political message down my throat? Absolutely yes. David Harbour, who played Santa Clause, wants to see this made into a series where Santa goes against other mythical creatures like the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny.

So if you’re looking for a movie that makes you laugh, fills your blood lust and makes you feel something, then check out Violent Night.

Art from Dream by WOMBO AI Art

Simptastic Joe

Movies and Shows

Kotaro Lives Alone: How To Break Hearts

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Netflix has no right messing with my soul like this. The clip they show look like a silly show about a child who lives alone in an apartment complex who does random shenanigans. Seems like a fun show to watch where you can turn your brain off and relax. Then episode 3 comes around and you find out that Kotaro’s mother is dead, her life insurance is how he affords the apartment, but he’s not told she’s dead and its from a generous donor, and he has a restraining order against his abusive father. 0-100 very fast. Thank God its only 10 episodes and doesn’t look like its being renewed for a second season.

The rest of the show is sadly an attack on the soul. You find out Kotaro spent a lot of time homeless and was eating tissues and leaves to survive. Kotaro does help his neighbors out with their problems.

Karino, an artist, Kotaro helps learn deadlines and responsibilities. Tamaru, he helps repair the relationship with his son. And Akitomo, he helps her run away from her abusive boyfriend. The show’s goal is to show people what really matters in life. Love and family.

Kotaro and Karino have a good father and son relationship. Karino becomes one of the best father figures in anime I’ve ever seen and in the final episode, hides a terrible secret from Kotaro. That his mom is dead. He gives Kotaro hope that they might one day meet and makes sure he will protect him from his abusive father and his past.

The show is highly rewarding, but incredibly sad. One of those shows where you cry in the end, but it’s a happy cry, because you know Kotaro will never be alone or unhappy again. And maybe that’s why I’m glad the show might not continue. We don’t need 10 seasons of him getting better. We can watch the final credits roll and know its going to work out for him.  That he will get the love from his neighbors that blood relative could never give him. And maybe that’s the best kind of ending.

Artwork from Dream by WOMBO AI Art

Simptastic Joe

Movies and Shows

Better Call Saul: Not Enough Time Left

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Better Call Saul might be one of the best shows of the decade. Sadly, the show is in its advertised final season, and I think they are rushing things. With 7 episodes left, there is a lot to get through. At this point, Jimmy hasn’t even gotten his “Cathedral of Justice,” and Jimmy didn’t meet Walter or Jesse yet.

I imagine the series will end with Kim dying tragically and Saul being put in some kind of witness protection or on the run somehow. At the start of some of the seasons, we see Jimmy working in a mall, trying to lay low. I remember a line from Breaking Bad where Mike alludes to something bad that happened to Jimmy, but we never got an answer.

So now we are in the middle of a war between Gus and Salamanca, which I imagine that’s how Kim would be killed. We never really got a time frame on how long Jimmy had his practice in Breaking Bad, but it must’ve been long enough to go through a few seasons of Breaking Bad.

With only a few episodes left we have to finish the war, Kim’s death, Jimmy’s law firm, the arrest of Jimmy, AND the time jump into the future with some kind of ending there. That’s a lot to show in such a small amount of time.

Better Call Saul is one of the best-written shows in a while, but the writers have a massive undertaking to finish this show as strong as how it started. What do you guys think of Better Call Saul, and how do you predict it’ll end?

World War Joe

Movies and Shows

Will Smith: Damage Control

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After “the slap” Will Smith’s career is in jeopardy. Smith has already resigned from the Academy Awards (whatever that means) and will be facing legal charges from Chris Rock in the coming weeks. Apparently, Bad Boys 4 and his upcoming on Netflix are on pause for the moment.

My prediction is that Smith is going to check himself into some kind of rehab for a bit. His family will be completely silent on the incident. Smith will plead not guilty to any Rock lawsuits and get it dropped to no jail time, some rehab and a big damages settlement. Rock already had hecklers at his comedy special shortly after the Oscars so he can easily say this incident has impacted his career.

The real truth is that Smith doesn’t care about his actions, he cares about his punishment and that’s why he’s getting a jump start on his redemption path. Right now, he and his wife are working on his apology to the world. He’s going to donate a big portion of his next movie paycheck to some kind of abusers group.

In a few years, people won’t forget about the slap, but Smith’s career will be just fine. His agent will start casting him in big ensemble movies where Smith can be a supporting actor and the movie won’t be boycotted. Smith will go back to roots and act in cool stuff and not Oscar winning movies that nobody will ever see or heard existed.

But where do you see Will Smith’s career going forward?

Simptastic Joe

Movies and Shows

Adventures of Buck Wild

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Does Disney know what the word “Adventures” mean? Adventures, as in more than one? From what I read online, take that with a grain of salt, the original idea was supposed to be a series of shorts, but they decided to go with a feature length movie instead. Which begs the question of why didn’t they do a series?

This movie was ok, but it did have a lot going for it. Buck Wild is a very fun character and the Lost World environment can really bring in a lot of new ideas. Wild has all the qualities of an action hero. He is brave, adventurous, kind and smart.

I didn’t fall in love with Crash and Eddie of the Ice Age series, so having them tag along with Wild felt like a slap in the face for a very exciting character. If I wrote this, Wild wouldn’t have any interaction with the Ice Age cast. I would give Wild his own 15-20 time slot where he goes on his own adventures. Maybe have the main bad guy of the movie in the show, give him the same love interest and his own rag tag group of characters to play off of and you got a show.

It seemed like an extremely simple concept which would’ve worked out for Disney in many ways. Giving Wild his own story would’ve opened up a lot more merchandising and spin off opportunity, but Disney instead decided to stick Wild with 2 of the worst comic relief characters they could find and came out with a subpar product.

Simptastic Joe

Movies and Shows

How to Fix teela

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Masters of the Universe: Revelation' Review - Wonderfully Earnest Fun

There’s no surprise that the extremely woke direction of the Netflix show Masters of the Universe Revelations didn’t sit too kindly with the fans. The show was constantly pandering to the strong, diverse and sexually explorative female leads and pushed aside and literally killed off any male leads that could steal the spotlight.

Now we are left with a tainted show and a Kevin Smith fighting to keep his spot in Hollywood alive. It’s foolish to say that this one terrible show will be the death of Smith, but it does create a snowball effect that’ll probably stay with him for most of his remaining career. Obviously, his Clerks 3 won’t be competing with Avatar and Endgame for top grossing movies of all time, but I think it will fail by even the most liberal of expectations.

Netflix's Masters of the Universe: Revelation review: a new future - The Verge

But instead of crapping on this show more, here’s what I would’ve done to make everyone happy. If the goal of the show in the end was to make Teela the main character of the show, to make her someone the fans would love to see a spinoff of, then it takes a slow burn.

I remember the first time I saw Ahsoka Tano in The Clone Wars movie. Ahsoka was annoying to watch and there really wasn’t anything redeeming about her character. Then Star Wars created The Clone Wars tv show and that featured Ahsoka a lot. She had incredible character development. We got to see her come into her own as a Jedi, lead armies into battle, make mistakes and at the end of the series became a fan favorite.

Geek Review - Masters of the Universe: Revelation (Netflix) | Geek Culture

That’s what Smith should’ve done with Teela. The first season of the show should’ve been focused on He-Man, obviously, and Teela as a strong supporting character. Through the season, we get to see her fight alongside He-Man, get to develop her character naturally through events of the show. Maybe even have her on her own quests of some episodes to give her more depth to her character. And if the plan was to kill off He-Man, you can have Teela as the successor after giving her a lot of time to develop and grow.

Most importantly, you have to make her fail. Writers today are making female leads the perfect characters and devoid of any flaws. They are tougher and smarter than the male characters who are drastically nerfed to make the females even better. But, you have to fail. We don’t want Mary Sue characters, who are perfect in every way and devoid of any flaws.

Kevin Smith Raises the Stakes in Masters of the Universe: Revelation << Rotten Tomatoes – Movie and TV News

Rocky lost, Luke Skywalker lost, Batman lost, Spider-Man lost, all the Avengers lost battles, and if you want Teela to be a fan favorite then she has to lose sometimes and most importantly come back stronger and wiser from it. Smith would forgo all these ideas and tried to push Teela down our throats and backfired massively.

So how screwed are they and most importantly, what do you think of how I would’ve written the show?

Simptastic Joe

Videogames

Gears of War TV Show: Gina Carano

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With Gina Carano getting the Disney double-standard boot, she is free to do anything she wants. Daily Wire and Ben Shapiro have reported to be in the works of filming a movie about Cancel Culture staring and produced by Carano. This will obviously be a huge opportunity for Carano and others effected by this radical way of thinking, but what project should she do after that?

I think a Gears of War TV adaptation is the perfect role for Carano. The only issue is the series would be starting in Gears 4 instead of the first game. Carano would be playing the role of Kate Diaz, a character who is now a main staple in the Gears of War series. Having Carano as a Gear is almost the same role as her time in The Mandalorian, a strong warrior who isn’t a pandering device for audiences.

Gears might make an ok movie, but videogame movies usually rush the story and miss a lot of key moments for time reasons. I have seen some rumors of a Gears of War movie discussed, but those rumors happen almost every year. Gears of War is one of the most popular franchises in gaming and still amasses a very dedicated fanbase. Combine that with Carano popularity and her ridiculous dismissal from Disney could make this series an early hit.

Joe Reyes