Tag Archives: show

Soul : A Symphony of Failure

Disney movies usually have messages of perseverance, working hard, and to keep on moving forward. Soul doesn’t do that. The message at the end of Soul is “you might not achieve your dreams, but appreciate every moment” which isn’t a good for young children and failing adults.

In Soul, the main character Joe Gardner doesn’t want to be stuck in an everyday routine. He wants to be a jazz concert musician and not just a music teacher. At the end, Joe finally gets his chance to be part of a popular jazz band, but realizes he’ll just be doing the same thing everyday and then gives it up for the vague message of “I don’t know what tomorrow will bring but I’m happy about it”.

What makes it worse, is that the band hired someone else for that night, but Joe insisted he’s the best person for that job and they told the other guy to leave. So, Joe got someone fired from the biggest moment of their life so he can achieve your dream, but then gave up on it when it wasn’t everything he wanted it to be.

This movie isn’t for the motivated dream chaser, its for the settler who can now justify their plain existence with the message of “I live life every day to the fullest” as they clock into their 9-5 or part time job talking about how they’re winning at life. Bad message Disney. Bad message.

Adventures of Buck Wild

Does Disney know what the word “Adventures” mean? Adventures, as in more than one? From what I read online, take that with a grain of salt, the original idea was supposed to be a series of shorts, but they decided to go with a feature length movie instead. Which begs the question of why didn’t they do a series?

This movie was ok, but it did have a lot going for it. Buck Wild is a very fun character and the Lost World environment can really bring in a lot of new ideas. Wild has all the qualities of an action hero. He is brave, adventurous, kind and smart.

I didn’t fall in love with Crash and Eddie of the Ice Age series, so having them tag along with Wild felt like a slap in the face for a very exciting character. If I wrote this, Wild wouldn’t have any interaction with the Ice Age cast. I would give Wild his own 15-20 time slot where he goes on his own adventures. Maybe have the main bad guy of the movie in the show, give him the same love interest and his own rag tag group of characters to play off of and you got a show.

It seemed like an extremely simple concept which would’ve worked out for Disney in many ways. Giving Wild his own story would’ve opened up a lot more merchandising and spin off opportunity, but Disney instead decided to stick Wild with 2 of the worst comic relief characters they could find and came out with a subpar product.

Simptastic Joe

How to Fix teela

Masters of the Universe: Revelation' Review - Wonderfully Earnest Fun

There’s no surprise that the extremely woke direction of the Netflix show Masters of the Universe Revelations didn’t sit too kindly with the fans. The show was constantly pandering to the strong, diverse and sexually explorative female leads and pushed aside and literally killed off any male leads that could steal the spotlight.

Now we are left with a tainted show and a Kevin Smith fighting to keep his spot in Hollywood alive. It’s foolish to say that this one terrible show will be the death of Smith, but it does create a snowball effect that’ll probably stay with him for most of his remaining career. Obviously, his Clerks 3 won’t be competing with Avatar and Endgame for top grossing movies of all time, but I think it will fail by even the most liberal of expectations.

Netflix's Masters of the Universe: Revelation review: a new future - The  Verge

But instead of crapping on this show more, here’s what I would’ve done to make everyone happy. If the goal of the show in the end was to make Teela the main character of the show, to make her someone the fans would love to see a spinoff of, then it takes a slow burn.

I remember the first time I saw Ahsoka Tano in The Clone Wars movie. Ahsoka was annoying to watch and there really wasn’t anything redeeming about her character. Then Star Wars created The Clone Wars tv show and that featured Ahsoka a lot. She had incredible character development. We got to see her come into her own as a Jedi, lead armies into battle, make mistakes and at the end of the series became a fan favorite.

Geek Review - Masters of the Universe: Revelation (Netflix) | Geek Culture

That’s what Smith should’ve done with Teela. The first season of the show should’ve been focused on He-Man, obviously, and Teela as a strong supporting character. Through the season, we get to see her fight alongside He-Man, get to develop her character naturally through events of the show. Maybe even have her on her own quests of some episodes to give her more depth to her character. And if the plan was to kill off He-Man, you can have Teela as the successor after giving her a lot of time to develop and grow.

Most importantly, you have to make her fail. Writers today are making female leads the perfect characters and devoid of any flaws. They are tougher and smarter than the male characters who are drastically nerfed to make the females even better. But, you have to fail. We don’t want Mary Sue characters, who are perfect in every way and devoid of any flaws.

Kevin Smith Raises the Stakes in Masters of the Universe: Revelation <<  Rotten Tomatoes – Movie and TV News

Rocky lost, Luke Skywalker lost, Batman lost, Spider-Man lost, all the Avengers lost battles, and if you want Teela to be a fan favorite then she has to lose sometimes and most importantly come back stronger and wiser from it. Smith would forgo all these ideas and tried to push Teela down our throats and backfired massively.

So how screwed are they and most importantly, what do you think of how I would’ve written the show?

Simptastic Joe

Terminator: How Do The Machines Lose?

I’ve been binging the Terminator movies randomly and a weird question popped in my mind at 3 in the morning. How do the machines lose? I know the original movie, and I mean original original movie, was about how Skynet’s plan is to send a terminator back in time to kill resistance leader John Connor’s mother, thus killing the future savior of humanity.

Then the second movie comes around and Skynet sends another terminator back in time to kill John Connor. And then the third one comes around to Skynet sending back another terminator to kill Connor and his lieutenants. Needless to say the plot of the Terminator franchise repeat themselves alittle.

Now back to the question. How do the machines lose in the future? In the first Terminator, the machines sent back a T-800 model played by the hulking Arnold Schwarzenegger. In that movie, the T-800 was unstoppable. It killed an entire police department with no trouble. It got hit by cars, shot, blew up and kept coming. Ultimately being crushed under a hydraulic press, but before that it did a ton of damage.

 The movie even showed what Earth looked like during the war with the machines. We aren’t doing very well in that fight. What’s left of humanity is hiding underground and barely able to fend off the massive robot army.

In the sequel, we have another T-800 return as a good guy and we are introduced to the T-1000, a robot comprised of liquid metal who can shapeshift, form his arms into swords and other weapons and take endless amounts of damge. Again, we get a glimpse into the future of hundreds of T-800s walking across the destroyed cities of the world. The T-800, even though he’s a good guy, goes through an entire SWAT team, taking bullets to the face and keeps coming. And the T-1000 finally met its end after being outsmarted, but for most of the movie he was winning.

In the third movie we are introduced to the T-X which is comprised of a metal skeleton and has the liquid metal on top. This lets it use the same spike arms and also be able to shoot out laser beams and use other gadgets.

So the point I’m making, is how does a robot army lose the battle. This isn’t like Mel Gibson rallying the famers against the British. This is clearly a no-win situation. As we’ve seen in the previous films, we are losing this battle.

In Terminator Salvation we actually get a movie centered around the battle for the humanity against the machines. And in that one we are shown massive Terminators the size of buildings, motorcycle robots and massive air crafts that take hostages.

The Terminators get deadlier with each film and even though Dark Fate was terrible, I thought the concept of a Terminator who can separate from its liquid metal to make 2 Terminators was a cool addition.

And with the last 2 movies in the franchise were reboots, I don’t think the creators actually have a realistic way the humans win. Even copying the Terminators concept of going back in time to stop Skynet and Legion before it ever gets started is a concept that would get old fast.

Its sad to see a franchise that started off so strong go downhill in just a few short movies. Unless they throw some serious money into the script or have a solid, multi movie plan, then this series will never return back to its glory days.

Let me know what you guys think about the Terminator franchise moving forward and what changes need to be made.

Simptastic Joe

Gears of War TV Show: Gina Carano

With Gina Carano getting the Disney double-standard boot, she is free to do anything she wants. Daily Wire and Ben Shapiro have reported to be in the works of filming a movie about Cancel Culture staring and produced by Carano. This will obviously be a huge opportunity for Carano and others effected by this radical way of thinking, but what project should she do after that?

I think a Gears of War TV adaptation is the perfect role for Carano. The only issue is the series would be starting in Gears 4 instead of the first game. Carano would be playing the role of Kate Diaz, a character who is now a main staple in the Gears of War series. Having Carano as a Gear is almost the same role as her time in The Mandalorian, a strong warrior who isn’t a pandering device for audiences.

Gears might make an ok movie, but videogame movies usually rush the story and miss a lot of key moments for time reasons. I have seen some rumors of a Gears of War movie discussed, but those rumors happen almost every year. Gears of War is one of the most popular franchises in gaming and still amasses a very dedicated fanbase. Combine that with Carano popularity and her ridiculous dismissal from Disney could make this series an early hit.

Joe Reyes